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Adult Babies (2017)
5/10
Yes, it's dumb, but it does have an actual hamfisted message in there.
27 July 2018
This movie isn't for everyone, it's not for most people actually. It's absurd, silly, disgusting, bizarre, and...political? Kind of?

Basically this movie is about the wealthy elite who essentially rule the world and how it came to be. The ruling class makes a deal with politicians that involves regressing adults into the mental state of babies cared for by a team of sexy nurses and a pair of dictator like management. It's disgusting old men in diapers goo-goo-ing and ga-ga-ing, drinking milk from absurdly sized bottles, and pooping themselves. Along the way a family finds themselves involved and tasked with infiltrating the establishment where this is going on. There's some eye gouging, poison, chainsaws, some shootings, another stabbing, and pooping. A lot of it at the end. There's also a claymation sequence that comes out of nowhere.

Is it GOOD? Not really in a traditional sense. Is it good for a laugh and a bit of gross political commentary? Surprisingly yes. It's not even all that low budget, the effects are quite good, it's just freaking weird. But I was entertained and that's why it gets a 5.
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2/10
This makes a slow burn seem like a wildfire.
6 July 2018
This show makes the same mistakes both 'Inhumans' and 'The Runaways' made. Low budget, poor understanding of the actual characters the source material pulls from, and awful direction. I understand wanting to deviate from the comics to reach a more modern audience but these go out of their way to frame it in an extremely predictable political correct way. Part of the charm of Marvel characters is how flawed they are because it gives them room to grow and instead of following that successful model...they toss it away to create a modernized SJW version of that concept. Cloak not only can't be portrayed as being a lost young person who resorts to crime, gotta make the blond girl one to avoid being called racist right? They're changes to the origin that don't make the characters better, they're just playing it safe, that's what I don't care for.

Once again a complete lack of action or special effects here as well. Dagger's only FX are a piece of plastic with some LED lights in it while Cloaks is just some dark wavy lines around him. That's the sum of all the special FX.

I could actually forgive all this if the direction made it work but it just doesn't. The pace is excruciatingly slow and not only that they try to do this artsy non-linear story telling that makes it a pain to follow what's going on. Then they mix in multiple dream sequences, flash backs, and monotonous dialogues that have nothing to do with whats going on. You have two teens who meet and find they have powers that are activated upon contact, yet one of the two has zero interest in looking more into it? You come across the guy who saved your life when you were both pre-teens and you're not curious at all? Really? It's more unrealistic than having super powers. I'm fine with drama and romance but make it human. These aren't people, they're just whatever the director wants them to be for the current scene without any thought to character growth. The acting isn't even bad and I like the look of both teens...it's the direction behind them that's to blame.
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1/10
Cheap, boring, unoriginal and overall...bad.
11 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I saw that Katee Sackhoff was in this and figured it couldn't be all THAT bad and gave it a watch. Nope, it's bad. The movie is about a failed journey to Mars where the onboard AI did something to the ship due to some alien code somehow added to it. The entire movie is Katee Sackhoff's character attempting to figure out what it is.

The problems are almost immediate, the movie looks plain cheap. Embarrassing bad CGI. Next the entire movie takes place within one really ugly and dark room with a floating CGI robot head where the AI resides where she basically interrogating it. THAT'S THE ENTIRE MOVIE.

*SPOILER* Then the AI somehow gains control to the worlds technology and blows up the planet. The end.
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4/10
It's pretty dumb.
26 May 2018
James Franco really doesn't know how to direct and should probably stay away from attempting it in the future. There really aren't many ways to describe this movie other than plain dumb, it's just not that good. It seems like this was more a project for some actors and rappers to goof around and enjoy themselves, which can work, if the story and acting doesn't suck.

I was going to write out a movie summary but decided it's really not needed. The movie takes place in essentially 4 "sets", a beautiful grove filled with flowing water and trees, a shack decorated to look like a brothel, an abandoned church in the middle of nowhere, and an abandoned resort in the middle of nowhere. They didn't build any of this, it's clear they filmed in random places they found, they didn't even bother dressing them up. Franco hams it up as the evil bad guy Warlord, Suki Waterhouse is a sexy robot, Snoop Dogg is a pimp (shocker), and Mila Jovavich is a chemist? Or something. I dunno, she somehow makes drugs from the crappiest looking chemistry set I've seen. Another dumb thing that irked me, this movie takes place over several days but not ONCE do they show what people eat or drink or how they get any of their resources. There's NOTHING else but the filming locations and it's all in the middle of nowhere. It a dumb thing to bother me but...3-4 days in the desert without a sip of water and no sign of dehydration? That's just basic character development. Which there is absolutely none of in this movie.

So why did I rate it a 4? Two stars for the film because it was shot relatively well, and two stars for Suki Waterhouse and Mila Jovavich looking hot as hell. Honestly just a really amateurish movie. It wants to be campy and cult status invoking...it's not. It's just dumb.
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2/10
Just very bland and lifeless.
21 May 2018
I've never read the book or seen any previous films based on it so I only knew the rough outline of what this movie was going to be about. Honestly it's just not an enjoyable movie for multiple reasons. There's no clear motivational switch for Michael B Jordan's characters actions or the antagonist, their actions have zero depth. Michael B Jordan's acting is also extremely muted, having seen him in previous roles I've always felt he pushes out his lines instead of really immersing himself in the role, but it's pretty bad here. Blank stares and just delivering lines without any emotion. On top of this the overall surrounding plot is very poorly explained.

The entire movie comes off as lifeless and superficial, it's shot relatively well and that's about it. No one really delivers a convincing performance, it just seems like something was completely missing in this movie. With this cast it should have definitely been better so it has to be the writing and direction that's to blame. Not recommended.

That said, since I'd never read the book, this was pretty much exactly the plot of "Equilibrium" and I never knew it. I suggest you go watch that movie, at least it has action.
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6/10
Liked it, would even like to see a sequel.
2 May 2018
More than an adequate sci-fi mystery thriller right here. The plot is quite simple but there are definitely some unexpected twists throughout this movie and an ending I didn't see coming.

A professor is going off in search of an area that both his parents and his sister disappeared in decades ago only to go missing himself. A few of his students along with a sibling and a friend take it upon themselves to go in search of him and find themselves trapped within a cave with some mysterious properties. They soon discover that time passes much slower inside than outside and that years have passed on the outside. I can't say anymore without spoilers, but you probably won't see it coming.

This movie has a moderate budget and uses special FX sparingly, but when they do they're done well, and the set is put together quite well. The acting is mostly adequate, not spectacular, and some of the dialogue is delivered in a clunky way. One of the leading female actors is actually pretty annoying throughout much of it, screaming out her lines, but I'm not sure if it's due to the actress, the writing, or the direction. It's forgivable though.

I found it to be an enjoyable and easy to watch sci-fi flick. Recommended for sci-fi fans with moderate expectations.
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6/10
Good creature feature for the gore hounds
2 May 2018
I'm not going to pretend this movie was exactly original, the formula has been done over and over for decades at this point. A couple finds themselves stranded and hunted by a dangerous predator, but there was a twist that's not normally seen in a creature feature like this. It's sort of a mash up of "Predator" meets Big Foot meets Native American folk lore.

The plot synopsis is exactly what you get in this movie, so there's no real point in going in to too much detail. A couple gets stranded in the woods, there's some dealings with weird redneck locals, and a monster. That's the movie. As others have stated, the acting isn't really all that great either.

Now why did I rate it a 6? Because it has some really good special effects gore. No CGI, real old fashioned special effects, which is always nice to see. Also I like the twist on the monster, it's not just a mindless beast, but a cunning, plotting, and motivated by pure hate and evil. Also the leading actress is really attractive so that's a plus, no nudity though.

If you're looking for a gore filled creature feature then this is for you.
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1/10
Immediately annoying
18 April 2018
I just don't understand why this film exists. The first one was, for me, the best kind of shlock. Fun characters, random and shocking deaths, absurd plot...it was undoubtedly stupid but it was fun and that's why it worked.

This one doesn't have any of that. It's just cheap with lame uninteresting characters in a horrible looking set. The undersea lab is just plain pathetic, it looks like it's straight out of a 1990's C-movie, that's how dated and lame it is. I got about 40 minutes into this and nothing happened, the acting was terrible, there's no special effects, it's just a pointless movie.

Don't waste your time watching this.
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5/10
Imperfect but there's promise for future seasons
15 April 2018
I wanted to watch all the episodes before writing a review because honestly the first few episodes can be a little frustrating and annoying. They got a few things right in this series...but a lot wrong unfortunately. The FX, CGI, and set pieces are all quite nice and movie quality so it's nice to look at generally speaking. It utilizes a basic outline for the entire series with each episode revolving around some disaster that everyone has to work together to solve.

The issues come in with some of the acting, dialogue, and seemingly unnecessary emotional moments that come out of nowhere making the characters seem uneven. The mother for example, she does an adequate job of selling herself as this very intelligent scientist, she's funny and considerate, and then she turns into a total judgemental jerk out of nowhere making her suddenly unlikable. The writers have trouble distinguishing between writing a strong woman and writing one whose just plain unnecessarily mean and nasty. The father is written as a man used to being in charge but the wife has essentially turned him into a beaten down dog. It's just a bit off putting, but it does ease up as the series progresses.

The children are eh...mediocre. Their demeanor and actions change by the episode to basically justify the plot. So they'll be capable and intelligent in one situation and then completely useless in another, they're written very unevenly. I think their overall acting was fine, once again it seems the writers just have trouble writing actual consistent characters.

The biggest flaw for me was Dr. Smith. I don't care that he was turned into a she and I personally like Parker Posey. The problem is she's been written as just a crazy person, a very intelligent one, but they don't give her any motivation for her actions. She's just evil and destructive for no reason, her actions simply don't make sense.

I guess that's sort of the problem with the whole series. The writers and directors clearly had an idea but they're inconsistent and don't understand how to write fully realized characters. So it leaves you expecting more and when you don't get it you're let down. These are issues that can be fixed now that the outlines have been established, but I'd like to see them actually surviving somewhere. Every episode was some disaster where the characters personalities were changed to justify the plot. Let the characters breathe a bit, let them establish themselves and it will be a much better series.
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Redwood (2017)
4/10
Shot well but extremely predictable
27 March 2018
This is a difficult movie to review because the description along with the opening sequence is essentially one big spoiler for the entire movie...it literally reveals the entire plot. So the actual meat of the movie is basically just a couple going for a long hike in the woods and constantly bickering until they eventually run into the aforementioned vampires.

It's a simple low budget movie but the natural beauty of the redwood forest makes for a very nice looking movie. The acting of the main cast is adequate but nothing special although early in the film there's a scene with a park ranger where the acting is particularly cringe inducing. Also the introduction of Nicholas Brendon (of past Buffy fame) was just kind of weird and poorly written. He doesn't play an important role at all, just kind of pops up out of nowhere to say his lines, act a little creepy, then isn't seen again until the end. On top of that his last line of the movie is cheesy and completely unnecessary, it seems it was included to make sure you knew they were vampires. As in he literally pops up to say "Not another vampire...". We know man, we saw it. Thanks anyway.

The biggest flaw in the movie, aside from completely spoiling the plot 5 minutes in, is the complete lack of suspense. There are no twists here, what you think is going to happen is exactly what happens and then the movie ends which is ultimately just really unsatisfying. So this movie, while it looked nice, just falls flat and honestly kinda lame. It's definitely not scary by any means. Give it a watch if you want to see a well shot but ultimately pointless movie, just don't expect much from it.
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7/10
A low-budget lovecraftian horror
25 March 2018
So what we have here is a lovecraftian horror set in an old school arcade console repair shop. We have a small cast involved, mainly consisting of four people, two of which share the majority of screen time. There's Oz, the young quiet loner working repairing consoles for his kind boss Jerry until an attractive yet somewhat quirky and forward young woman named Tess comes in to look at what they have in stock. Jerry later excuses Oz and tells him he needs to get out and have a little fun and to go have some drinks at the local bar where he meets Tess once again who sparks up a conversation. Due to her outgoing nature they somewhat hit it off and plan to meet up later which becomes the beginning of a relationship that spans the rest of the movie.

Shortly after a mysterious package arrives at the shop holding a chip board which Oz installs into an empty stand up arcade console. Upon playing this mysterious game Oz experiences a loss of time and becomes violently ill. Meanwhile a creepy homeless man repeatedly appears on the outskirts of the story observing Oz and Tess. Time goes by, Tess and Oz become closer, and the ominous game begins to affect our two protagonists in dangerous ways leading to mind altering body horror sequences commonly seen in Lovecraft inspired horrors.

What I liked about this movie is all the special effects were real world common sense effects with little to no CGI. Good old fashioned disgusting special effects based on gooey melting bits and loads of slime and fluids. The story while bizarre is tight and paced well. The relationship between Oz and Tess seems rushed but they have pretty good chemistry. This movie won't be for everyone, some will find it confusing as it doesn't have a well outlined explanation for the events going on, but it's not meant to. Anyone familiar with Lovecraft themes should be able to appreciate it as well at those who enjoy the body-horror genre. I would definitely recommend it to these two groups with a soft recommendation to more mainstream horror fans.
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1/10
Talk about a director with self-esteem issues.
21 March 2018
Here's a tip, when you're buying fake reviews for your crap documentary it's not a smart idea to have them all gush praise and reverence for the director over and over and over. Seriously, whatever fake PR firm you used to write these reviews laid it on way too thick. Learn a little subtlety. Wow.
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3/10
Sub-par...even for a zombie comedy movie.
10 March 2018
A very low budget zombie/comedy movie set in the south with a simple plot. Due to a invasive species of weed they've been dropping an experimental pesticide to stop it's growth and kill it basically contaminating everything related to it. We don't see any of this really, it's told to us with scrolling dialogue in the opening of the film and there's some interaction with the pilot whose been hired to spray it from his plane. Then through various means people die, become infected, and come back as zombies. Pretty standard contamination zombie plot. That's all fine and well, you expect it to be goofy.

The problem here is the bad special effects and the acting, it's just really bad, especially the acting. I don't expect Shakespeare or anything but it was just especially bad and the dialogue fell completely flat. Also it just flat out wasn't funny. So if the zombie effects suck, the acting sucks, and the comedic elements suck...you're not left with much of a movie.

If you're desperate for a zombie movie I guess this works. I don't recommend it.
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Клакер (I) (2017)
3/10
Typical Ed Helms movie in just about every way.
23 February 2018
This is exactly who Ed Helms plays in almost every single thing he does. Just this sort of middle-aged sad sack schlubbing his way through life, not really depressed or sad, just going no where fast. And inevitably there's a far younger attractive woman toiling away at a dead end job with a whacky dream job whom he sparks up a romance with only to get in his own way time and time again because hey...it's Ed Helms and that's what he does. Dorky schlub that over reacts and makes life difficult for himself until everything magically works out in the end and everyone is happy.

That's honestly the entire movie. There weren't really any laughs, the plot is very thin, and the acting and interactions just never really seemed to have any life to it. It's just a guy who makes a living by sitting in infomercial audiences and a late night talk show notices him and starts up a nightly bit turning him into a sort of mystery sensation. This gets in the way of his romance. And there you go, that's the movie.

It's unoffensive and easy background noise but there's nothing special, unique, or charming about it. It's a pretty paint by number rom-com and literally the exact same thing Ed Helms does in every single appearance. Also can we stop having lame old guys being matched up with far younger attractive women? I just don't buy it. Watch if you're bored with absolutely nothing else to keep you occupied.
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Bad Apples (2018)
1/10
Lame with no plot
8 February 2018
There's not really anything redeeming about this low budget horror movie. The budget isn't even the issue here, it was just the complete ineptitude of whoever was behind this mess. The camera angles suck, the audio is HORRIBLE and muffled through all the dialogue, the editing is poor...someone with talent could have done far better with what was available here.

The entire movie is two girls with masks going around killing people. There's no actual plot that I could detect. The way the deaths are set up, which is the bulk of the movie, had no suspense or build up and little to no gore affects. Just screaming and fake looking blood. Then some boring unimportant dialogue till it repeats itself. Then at the end they literally just blurt out the entire plot over around 5 minutes and rap it up with an anti-climactic ending.

The people behind this movie simply have no talent and no imagination. Boring, lame, and pointless.
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Беглецы (2017– )
3/10
Poorly directed and acted
22 November 2017
So far this show just isn't engaging and I found myself getting bored throughout the first three episodes. The characters just don't feel like characters, they're very poorly fleshed out. Sure it's a diverse cast but they're not exactly diverse in attitude, all the teens act pretty much the same. We know very little about them other than how they dress and you can tell how hard they're trying to make them as inoffensive and PC as they can which really takes away the sense of fun.

Then there's the fact that it's a show about people with abilities and we've seen a total of maybe 60 seconds of special effects over the course of three hours. Inhumans had this same problem. No one is tuning in to see another drama, these comics are interesting because they're about people with powers. I know they're trying to save money because well...it totally looks like they're trying to save money. No original sets, no special effects, just people talking or staring. Which is where the poor direction comes in. Once again they're just not interesting or engaging, they actually come off as somewhat annoying. The actors aren't very competent either but that could be a result of the direction.

Then there's the one with the purple hair. They actually nailed the looks of the kids in comparison to the comics but they made this one just a carbon copy teen SJW spouting the same silly nonsense. Maybe it appeals to that niche crowd but most people in real life just plain don't talk that way.

Just very underwhelming so far. I'll still give it a shot but it's not looking very good so far.

Edited: Just finished the 4th episode and...no it's not getting better. Little to no plot advancement, roughly 60 seconds of special effects that are poorly done, cringe worthy dialogue and acting. Gert is just plain annoying. Most the kids are actually, there is no individuality or personality from any of them. Just nothing happens and 4 hours into a series that's just unacceptable, there is literally zero action, this is nothing more than a teen drama with a sprinkling of comic elements.

This show is supposed to be about teens with abilities who discover their parents are members of a super villain cult, but it's turned that into barely a side plot. What's the point?
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8/10
Pretty hilarious
14 November 2017
My score is based on what the show is trying to be, which is loosely a sci-fi with a bunch of ridiculous inept characters. It's main gimmick is time travel utilized to stop a dystopia future from taking place. Two of our main protagonists, Tiger & Wolf, send a game back in time with the idea that the individual who beats it will be their savior. Right, like 'The Last Starfighter', which the main character Hutchinson immediately points out which should cue you in as to what kind of show you're in for.

The rest is bumbling through time making mistake after mistake creating wide ranging ripples changing the lives of those connected to these characters. Over the top violence from Tiger & Wolf, Hutchinson trying his best to keep up and often times even leading. All the while there's subtle hints, jokes, and puns about other types of shows and movies involving time travel. There's even a whole episode about James Cameron poking fun at the Alien and Terminator franchises.

First and foremost this is a comedy so don't expect any hard science fiction. Yes it's crude, absurd, silly, weird, and never for a second takes itself seriously, but that's why I personally liked it and would definitely watch another season.
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2/10
I give up
10 November 2017
I tried to give this a fair shot, I really did. I made it through 7 episodes and it just doesn't get any better, nothing they do translates into good entertainment. You have these people who are supposed to have these amazing abilities and they barely use them. There's little action in the episodes, which would be okay if the dialogue wasn't so tedious and boring. There is only about 30 seconds worth of special effects in every episode, the rest is almost entirely badly written and delivered dialogue.

Then there's the sets. The Inhumans city Attilan is extremely underwhelming. This is supposed to be an advanced society with thousands of residents and 7 episodes in we've seen almost none of it. They repeatedly use the same rooms over and over, there's around 5 different sets that they just continually rotate. When they're on earth the majority of it takes place in a forest, a barn, or the same warehouse that's been re-purposed. We're not stupid, we can see what you're doing.

The story is just BORING. You have Medusa who's ability to control her hair and they cut it all off the first episode so she's spent the entire time just glaring and insulting people. You've given the actress nothing to work with. Black Bolt...just some stone faced guy doing sign-language. On top of that you made him weak, Black Bolt can't be beaten by some random cops with baton's, he's supposed to have super strength and durability. They wrote that out. Maximus is supposed to have abilities as well, they removed them and made him a snarling paranoid weakling. The other characters are all written poorly and their stories make absolutely no sense.

This whole thing is just one big mess. Everything about it is bad which sucks because I really wanted to like it. You can tell that the budget must have been hacked to shreds as it just comes off as cheap. Superhero shows on the CW have better budgets than this and it's on ABC. Just what were the people in charge of this thinking? It's such a disappointment.
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5/10
Pretty standard haunting flick
6 October 2017
For your run of the mill horror fan this is worth a watch. It ticks off all the boxes of your typical haunt story. The story takes place entirely within an oldish hospital after our protagonist is hit by a car while out for a jog and paralyzed. She soon starts to sense that someone, or something, is watching her.

The story has a good pace, it's shot well, the acting and dialogue are fine as are the limited special effects. It's worth a watch on a boring night in the dark but there's nothing original about it so don't expect it to knock your socks off.
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3/10
Pointless
5 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
So to be fair I'm not the target market for a film like this, it seems to be marketed to teens but it's not a "kid" movie by any means. Stop reading here because it will be immediate spoilers because any mention of the plot is a spoiler.

Basically a group of teens go into the woods on prom night and do shrooms. They trip out, see some stuff, there's a bit of teen angst mixed in and tired teen cliché characters but the problem is nothing all that important actually happens. There's no self discovery, there's no mystery, no action, they just kind of meander through the woods for awhile tripping and making quips. Then there's a cheap scare in a scene that makes no sense, a baby goat is introduced, they run and now it's morning and the movie is over. Every one is fine, very little learned, and...that's it. Overall just a very empty and pointless film. Maybe I missed something being in my 30's but I don't think so.
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The Detained (2017)
2/10
Shot well, suffers from poor writing and direction.
13 September 2017
The camera work and the actual look of everything was well done for a movie with what I assume was a shoestring budget. The premise is fairly simple, bit of 'Breakfast Club' in a prison attempt where the students are all hunted by an unknown assailant. And that's about all there is to the plot.

The problem is everything else. It's hard to criticize the acting because the dialogue and actions they say and do are so...juvenile and stupid that I don't think any actor would have been able to make them work. It's obvious the writers have no idea how modern teens talk or behave. They're supposedly arch-type teenagers but they're archetypes lifted from like a 2005 Nickelodeon sitcom. Nothing that happens ever has any real impact, there's no emotional connection to any of these characters because they're all sort of unbearable and annoying. There's no sense of dread or fear. It's just a group of "teens" making stupid quips as they wander around a prison until one of them supposedly dies.

I say supposedly because you never actually SEE anything that happens. Literally all the violence, if there is any, happens off screen. You never actually see what happens to a character when they're killed off. You see them being approached, a scared face, and then the scene is over and the story has moved on already.

Basically if this is a horror, comedy, and drama genre movie without any actual horror, comedy, or drama in it...then what is it? That's the feeling this movie leaves you with. It's nothing. It's not offensive really, there's just no point to watching it. It's just some fairly well shot unimaginative boring nonsense with a couple funny lines. Can't recommend it.
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Мгла (2017)
2/10
Horribly insipid.
23 June 2017
The obviously annoying liberal agenda immediately shoved in your face aside this show suffers from being insipid. The plot crawls along at a snail pace, the characters are all uninteresting, the dialogue is cringe worthy, poorly scripted and poorly acted at every level. You took an interesting premise and turned it into a teen soap drama. There just isn't anything here of substance. Three episodes in and maybe 5% of the time has been about the mist the 95% being all about manufactured and pointless drama. Give us the paranormal and science fiction, give us horror, that's what made The Mist such an interesting premise. Who is this show even for?
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2/10
Sucked. Just...sucked.
29 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This movie sort of pokes fun at stereotypical behavior in horror movies...but not in a clever way. It puts forth a premise of what would an unsuspecting victim would do if they were placed within a horror movie scenario...with the antagonist planning their every reaction via horror movie stereotypes.

But even built on that premise...the behavior and acting is just SO TERRIBLE and not in a fun way. There are very few characters involved but not once did a single one take a second to try and assess what was happening to them instead jumping immediately to hackneyed and lame conclusions. I'm sure people react without reason when something jarring occurs but when you're given ample time to think about your situation in reality many people do figure out a path to safety eventually. They'll question their situation, they'll try to process it, they'll try and survive. Well people don't do that in this movie, they panic, then panic some more, and when given a break with plenty of time to explain their situation...they break down crying and blurt out nonsense.

It's just not good. There's no action in it to speak of, no gore, no clever plot twists. It's cliché packaged as intelligent...with no delivery in the intellect department. It's a completely juvenile script with no thought or depth to it and ultimately a pathetically simple film where no single person is able to rub two brain cells together to come up with a coherent thought.

Basically...it was just plain lame. I wouldn't recommend it, it's just not good entertainment.
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2/10
Absolute garbage
25 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The only reason I'm not giving this movie a flat "1" is because of the respect I used to have for Wesley Snipes as an action star.

This movie does not deserve a real in-depth review seeing as how it's difficult to take it as a real movie at all. But let me shoot off some issues I had with it.

Plot. The plot is a classic tale of revenge. Snipes is out to avenge his beloved who was violently gang raped while he was off with his adopted mother selling animal skins. They apparently gang rape her and leave her otherwise completely unharmed, to the point where the rape only comes to knowledge because she becomes pregnant. Then for some reason when Snipes finds out...he vanishes for 5 years. One presumes it was to track down the rapists? It's not explained...he just leaves for 5 years. In the mean time she dies from child birth...which maybe if he'd been there to support her in the first place she might have lived. Whatever. It's dumb.

While the plot at it's heart might be simple, that being revenge, none of the other elements add to the plot whatsoever. For some reason he frees a random prisoner...killing an entire sheriff posse in the process. They don't bother to explain who he is, why he's a prisoner, why Snipes even knows WTF he is. There's this "whore" that is seemingly an important part of the plot...except THEY FORGET TO TELL YOU WHO SHE IS OR WHAT HER POINT IS. Villains spring up and die at random with no explanation why they exist in the first place.

The editing is god awful. This director is obviously an amateur and so is whoever was behind the editing. Scenes immediately bleed into each other with zero warning or explanation. There's a rough 15 minutes where scenes constantly fade into each other...it's like someone playing with an editing program. I was expecting scenes to fly out in gold stars like an 80's PSA.

The acting was atrocious by everyone. I have no idea what Snipes was going for...but it failed. It's not even him most of the time, it's long distance views or filming him from the back the majority of the time.

Dialogue wasn't even laughable...it was just poorly written. I'd expect better from a grade school student.

Nothing in this movie worked. There's surprisingly little action and it's all anti-climactic. There's long narrative sequences that do little to explain what's going on. The sets are a complete joke, literally cobbled together tents and wooden structures in the middle of nowhere with a minimum of extras.

Well this ended up being pretty long for a review. This movie is bad and amateurish to the extreme. It appears they had somewhat of a budget because the quality of the camera work isn't bad and they had a few cameos that were completely wasted...but the actual handling of the camera is a complete mess. Close ups at the worst moments, the cameraman clearly running around swiveling the camera trying to give a "mystic" feeling. This movie is embarrassingly bad...no one should ever watch this. Sorry Snipes...but this is actually one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And I never say that.
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8/10
Felt like the old Mel, that's a good thing.
11 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
It's been years since Mel has done a movie like this. This movie is just good, solid entertainment.

Here we have a nice tight plot, spot on humor, believable and exciting action, solid acting by all involved, all within a small yet intriguing setting.

Mel is essentially playing his Payback character (from what I've read it is in fact the same person even though he isn't named as such). The movie starts off with an exciting car chase in the desert near the Mexican border. Apparently a certain job has not gone as planned and Mel is driving his hardest to elude the authorities. During the course of the chase he eventually lands on the opposite side of the border and is taken in to custody and imprisoned by the local Mexican police. This isn't your ordinary prison though, it's more of a shanty town that's been surrounded by 20ft concrete walls. Prisoners here are allowed to work, rent homes, shop, and have family living with them...as long as they come up with the cash.

Mel has his work cutout for him figuring out how to get himself out of this jam and while he's working on it comes across and befriends a young child who is seemingly out of place in such a setting. He soon finds himself embroiled in a dangerous plot with enemies lining up on all sides.

Like I said, good solid plot with fantastic pacing. Mel is great playing the wizened criminal. The child actor does a surprisingly adequate job of hanging in there with him. All in all this was just a good flick. Don't let the Mel hate keep you from watching it. This is Mel in his Lethal Weapon and Payback days.
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